Room for Vinaigrette in Your Handbag?

You may not consider carrying vinaigrette in your purse, but two centuries ago ladies (and gents!) always travelled with this kind of vinaigrette:

Barely larger than a postage stamp, these vinaigrettes held aromatic mixtures that could revive a swooning lady or provide a pleasant aroma to mask the rude smells one encountered in daily life!

Typically made of sterling silver, like this one, vinaigrettes held a tiny sponge beneath a little grilled screen.

This one was made in Birmingham, England in the early 1800s and has its original sponge. (!) The sponges were soaked in perfumed oils mixed with vinegar; a mixture pungent enough to allow the vinaigrettes to be very small - a necessity since you carried this at all times.

These were often given as tokens of affection and this one has a sweet inscription "From Charles to Sophia" that makes you wonder what happened to them. Were they sweethearts? The inscription is quite worn (and also very small - less than 1/2" wide) which may indicate this was a well-loved item. Perhaps Sophia used it for decades while dreaming of Charles who perished at the Battle of Waterloo . . . oh! sorry, getting off track!

Inevitably, vinaigrettes fell out of fashion - perhaps in direct correlation to improving sanitation. Their popularity peaked between 1790 and 1820 and by 1840 they were considered quite old-fashioned. What happened to them? Many are still floating around in antique shops and online auctions. A basic one, sans sponge, can be found for under $100. More elaborate ones by famous makers or with engravings of famous sites often run in the hundreds. Or, you can go for the top of the line and get something like this:

This citrine and gold vinaigrette sold last month at Christie's for almost $4,000. I love the way the grille design can be seen through the Citrine . . . So, when you're antiquing, watch for these tiny gems. You may find a real bargain and you may get hooked on these little beauties!

I'm off to make a salad . . . I have a strange craving for vinaigrette!

(And tomorrow we'll be chatting about Thanksgiving Etiquette - that's right, with a capital 'E')

Pickles for the People! (oh yeah, & Castor Beans)

If you had to make Pickles for The People, how many would you make? Certainly more than Peter Piper's Peck of Pickled Peppers . . . Not to worry, just use this 20 gallon pickle crock!

It's huge - I can't imagine it filled with pickles. We purchased this at an antique shop a few days ago and are trying to determine if it's too nice to live on our porch. The shop owner thinks it's about 100 years old, but as many of his wares were more junktique than antique we're not certain.

It is perfectly plain, with handles on each side and the size '20' painted or stamped on the front. Some pickle crocks are really valuable (selling for thousands at auction) because they have lovely designs painted on them and are stamped with a maker's name - ours is more utilitarian, with no markings. I'm thinking of putting a large tropical plant in it next spring . . .

So, now you know what's cheery on our porch this week! And, someone e-mailed with a question about a plant that was in a post a few weeks ago about Reynolda Gardens. This plant, in fact:

It's a Castor Bean (Ricinus communis) and is poisonous if ingested. (Note the Latin name - the poison is ricin which was in the news quite a bit a few years ago. Espionage buffs will also remember that ricin was used to assassinate Georgi Markov in the '70s - it was injected through the tip of an umbrella as he waited for the train at Waterloo Station!) It's a large, stunning plant, however, and is an annual in this area (Zone 7).

Enjoy your Monday in the garden!

Kreative Blogger Award!

As quickly mentioned a few days ago, Emmie at Southern Aspirations has nominated this little blog for the Kreativ Blogger award. First a big thank you to Emmie for that. (And a note to her - I almost died when I saw the pic of you sitting in the surf in your wedding gown!) The last time I won an award was over a decade ago - for having the best witch cackle in my church choir's fundraising musical review (note: I was the only witch!).

And on to the 'business' of the Kreativ Blogger - to tell you seven things about myself that you don't know and to pass the award on to seven other blogs (and add comments/link to their fabulous blogs)! So, here are the seven things:

1. I could never be a professional chef because I don't like eggs, oysters, duck, or mussels (I do, however, make a great omelet!)


2. Ditto #1 because I'm not crazy about cutting up a chicken - I usually wait until my husband is available and then supervise


3. I love champagne - alone or in a Mimosa or punch


4. Relating to #3, my wish list includes some new champagne flutes from Tiffany - the stems are hollow (so pretty!!)


5. My all-time favorite television show is 'Foyle's War' - a perfect combination of British murder mystery/detective/World War II costume drama (yes, even better than Mad Men!)


6. October is my favorite month


7. I love raking fall leaves - the crunch, the autumn smell, the 'look how much progress I've made in an hour' aspect . . . having said that, I should disclose that our yard guys remove (and compost) most of our leaves so perhaps I love it now because it's a small job

And now for the difficult part of the Kreative Blogger award - passing it on. There are so many great blogs that I enjoy regularly that it's not easy to pick seven, but here goes.

• Uniquely Tea which was one of the first blogs I discovered in Blogland. It's a great resource for All Things Tea!


• The Daily Postcard which features a postcard each day with a bit of history and often a fascinating story. There is truly something for everyone here!


• Elderberry Street which is always lovely and where you'll find lots of craft, food, and decorating inspiration!


• The Covered Porch where the idea of creating a beautiful refuge and still living simply is alive and well! (Plus, the Velveteen Rabbit was featured a few days ago - what more can I say?)


• Purdy Wallcovering which will change the way you view wallpaper forever! You must check out the 'Wallpaper as Table Runner' photo!


• Garden Designs + More which is a beautiful garden blog. It's not too late to check out the wonderful Halloween plants featured here!


• Sarah-Jane Down the Lane which will make you want to pack your bags for the English countryside- in time for the Vintage and Handmade Christmas Fair!

I hope you'll check out some of these great blogs! And enjoy the rest of your weekend . . .

Let's Go Retro!

Retro? Yes, as in retronyms! A retronym is a term created to clarify an existing word whose meaning has become unclear due to societal or technological changes. For example, 'snail-mail' is a retronym used to distinguish electronic communications from traditional postal service. The word 'retronym' was popularized by William Safire (who passed away earlier this year), and first appeared in the American Heritage Dictionary in 2000. Here are some popular retronyms:

• free-range chicken
• black & white photograph
• summer Olympics
• acoustic guitar
• classical music
• push mower
• whole milk
• pocket watch
• dirt road
• manual transmission
• propeller airplane
• hardback book
• organic food

I hope you enjoyed this little look at retronyms. If you know any interesting ones, please send them in a comment or email. To close, here's a photo I took from the car a few days ago. It's a bit blurry, but I think this gives it a dreamy quality (it's a beautiful house on the Battery in Charleston).

Cornhuskin': It's an Angel Thing

Today is the final day of Cornhuskin'! Unless you're a Meredith College student or alum you may not be that excited about this news . . . but, for those current students it's the biggest day in the fall semester - a tradition started in the 1940s that has evolved into a week-long celebration.

Originally Cornhuskin' was a kind of harvest festival with hog calling, corn shucking, apple bobbing, and, of course, costumes! There is competition between the classes - with each class choosing a theme and integrating it into their skit, dance, shirts, tall tale, parade floats, etc. The themes are top secret and the class that earns the most points in all categories is declared the winner.

The photo above is from my Senior Cornhuskin' - we had sweatshirts, hats, balloons and songbooks - fairly simple compared to the Spirit Packs of today. The songs were a big element then, carefully written and rehearsed. I was a bit sad to find that there are no songs now - perhaps a sign of the dwindling music department. But, the songs were replaced with a dance that is expertly choreographed and performed enthusiastically.

Another thing that has changed is the Beehive - as seen above, it was a building that was painted and repainted each year. I have to say I've never enjoyed subsequent painting projects as much . . . sadly the Beehive itself is now demolished. But, when one tradition dies another takes its place.

The Can Art competition is a new event - each class designs a large art project made entirely of cans - following their theme, of course! And the tunnel painting is also new (by new I mean since the 1980s!).

You can sum this up with the old saying "the more things change, the more they stay the same." Since my time, Cornhuskin' has become a five day event culminating on Friday rather than Thursday - and it's now open to friends and family. It's much bigger and more professional, but at the core it's the same: a celebration of 'Meredithness' - friendship, competition, and most of all fun! I hope this makes you think of the traditions in your world - be they family, school, or community ones. Long may they continue!

And to all the Meredith Angels competing tonight - I hope this is the best Cornhuskin' ever! And special good wishes to the Class of 2010!!

(And finally a word of caution to the men in our lives - if you're only going to remember one thing about Meredith choose Cornhuskin' - nothing ends a relationship quicker than calling it 'Cornshucking' . . . )

Have a Corn-tastic Day!!

Come and Meet Our Slumpkin

What happens when a beautiful pumpkin meets a dastardly squirrel? A slumpkin, of course!

This was a perfect pumpkin last week - now look at it! Until a few years ago, we always bought fabulous bumpy pumpkins - you know the ones, really interesting, craggy things that just shout 'Halloween'. Well, the squirrels loved the bumps - it gave them something to chew on - literally. They started by gnawing off one of the bumps and within a few days the whole pumpkin was destroyed. Thinking we were smarter than a rodent with a brain the size of a walnut, we switched to boring, smooth pumpkins. And our plan worked, until this year. This pumpkin was in front of a bench made of three BIG rocks (a horizontal one resting on two vertical ones) and apparently the squirrels hid under the bench and somehow nibbled away at the hidden side. We did not see any evidence of this until the pumpkin slumped and we investigated: the back and insides are gone. Completely. And there's a patch of pesky Bermuda grass coming from under the bench as well. Give it a six months and it will leap its way across our nice Fescue - just like the squirrels eating our pumpkins and spring bulbs. What we need is a way to get the squirrels to eat the Bermuda grass . . .

On a different note, I want to say a big Thank You to Emmie at Southern Aspirations for nominating this blog for the Kreativ Blogging award. I'm actually out of town this week and my blog is mostly on auto-pilot . . . so, more about this after the weekend! In the meantime, check out Emmie's blog - you'll like it!

Why Does Europe Get All the Good Hooks??!

Look closely at the photo above. It's my handbag precariously perched on . . . yes, a giant toilet paper dispenser. You may ask why? Why is my bag on the yucky public TP holder? Or, why did I take a photo of it? (Yes, that's a new low for me - sneaking pictures in the restroom and hoping the person in the next stall doesn't think I'm a pervert. But, at least I wasn't talking on the phone while in the stall - that really is creepy . . .)


Here's the answer:

No hook!! Why wasn't there a hook? This wasn't a ratty, unisex, gas station bathroom; it was a large bookstore in a nice shopping area. To be precise, it's the book store where I once saw Rachael Ray (who, by the way, is much prettier in person - imagine that). One would assume a book store that can attract Rachael Ray, Emeril, and Libby Langdon could keep working hooks in the restroom. I mean what if Libby Langdon, the Small Space maven, needed to hang her coat on a hook? How embarrassing for the store then - its only small space is not even functional. Because without a hook it's hard to function - there's no place to put your coat, if you have a big handbag (like this one) it's tricky to hold it, and if you have shopping bags they have to go on the floor. I just can't put my handbag or coat on the floor, though. Can you? Some people use the paper seat covers to make a clean 'landing pad' on the floor. That's not really great, either, because it's wasteful and who's going to pick them up? Probably not a person who's too squeamish to put her stuff on the floor . . .

This all made me wonder why public restrooms are so shoddily constructed. I've traveled and worked quite a bit in Europe and their restrooms are always intact - real hooks and doors that latch and sometimes even a handy shelf for packages. And, not only do the door latches not break, they usually have an ingenious design that tells people outside the stall whether it's occupied. Often a little window displays either a red or green bar when the latch is closed or open - no peeking under the door. Why can't we get that here? Is this some EU conspiracy? If we adopt the Euro can we find out the Secret? Or is it just that builders here cut corners in the restrooms? We used to have sturdy restrooms. Visit old buildings that have the original restrooms intact - train stations, office buildings, department stores - you'll see heavy doors with working latches and big hooks. (If you're in the Raleigh area, go to Logan's - it's a great nursery with a yummy cafe, all housed in a former train depot - original marble restrooms, with big hooks and door latches that say 'vacant' or 'occupied' - still working perfectly after 60+ years!)

So, now you probably think I'm obsessed with public restrooms . . . I'm not. Most days I don't think about them at all . . . but, I do long for the good old days of reliable hooks!

Stop by tomorrow to meet our Slumpkin and chat about the Kreativ Blogger award.

Five Words That Make My Husband Cringe

You're probably thinking of various five-word phrases that are cringe-worthy or that would require heroic action on the part of a husband - like "honey, there's a dead mouse!" or "I saw a big spider" or "I backed into the mailbox" or even "dinner tonight with the _____s!" But, as my husband doesn't mind bugs or other wildlife and I'm a good driver and we're both good at creative ways to say 'no' to yucky social invitations, these phrases are not even close. The five words I'm referring to sound much more innocent: I have a great idea. Why does this phrase make my husband run the other way? He interprets this to mean "I have an idea that's going to require lots of materials, lots of your time, and will not work out the way I envision . . ."

This time of year I always have these ideas - the holidays just bring out the "idea" side of me! Frequently the ideas are for new outdoor holiday decorations. We have a two story house with porches up and down and there are so many possibilities when it comes to decorating. We've done all the obvious things - garland on the railings and/or garland around the columns (including one year when my pariticularly ambitious plan involved all boxwood garland - unfortunately this was during one of those North Carolina Decembers when temperatures soared into the 70s and the boxwood was brown almost instantly and I almost fell off the upstairs porch in an effort to mist the garland on the front of the columns). For two years we had a large, 60+ inch wreath in the center of the upstairs railing. This was quite pretty and my husband liked it because it was very simple - half-a-dozen cable ties and the wreath was in place, two more minutes and the Moravian star was hanging above it and we were done. But, two years of the same thing is enough, right?

For about five years I've had a vision of lighted stars sweeping across the front of the house. Small ones, large ones, all glittery and mysterious in the dark. Various plans, involving plexiglass and a Dremel, or plywood and a staple gun, or cable ties and coat hangers, did not live up to their promise - leading to the purchase of the runner-up big wreaths. Last year, however, I figured out a way to make this work - large bamboo garden stakes. So simple. Lay the stakes flat in a star shape - the kind of overlapping star you draw without lifting your pencil. Then fasten the intersections with cable ties and attach lights around the outside. The inner cross pieces add stability and at night cannot be seen. And, by using stakes that are seven or eight feet long, you can create really large stars (tip - assemble outside as the large ones will be taller than your door!). Ours turned out beautifully and came together quickly. I loved this look last year, but think it would be nice for a change this year. Hence my new idea . . .

My vision for Christmas 2009 is big banners that hang between the columns - from the roof over the upstairs porch to mid-way the downstairs porch. I've been turning this idea over in my mind for weeks - could we use flag fabric or some inexpensive lightweight fabric that's backed with something substantial? And then it came to me while I was soaking in the tub (as many great ideas do!) - we could use linoleum. I've seen beautiful painted floorcloths made from linoleum scraps - it's much easier than the traditional way of creating a floorcloth by priming canvas (you paint on the reverse and there's no prep at all). So why not get large linoleum remnants and paint the reverse, cut them (I'm thinking cute points at the bottom) and attach them with a staple gun? Remnants are cheap and so is paint and this could be an easy one-day project! And linoleum won't blow around like fabric. More proof that this is a viable idea! Now I just have to convince my husband. (Not to worry, if he balks, I have another great idea, aka Backup Plan: Giant Bunting!!)

Knit a Poem: Craft Meets Literature in a Big Way

The British Poetry Society recently sponsored a project that involved over 1,000 knitters and crocheters from around the globe. To celebrate their centenary, the Poetry Society decided to create a knitted poem - a really large knitted poem. The poem was constructed from 12-inch squares - one letter per square - with the poem itself remaining a closely guarded secret. The final poem measured approximately 10 yards by 14 yards. (Picture that on a football field to get an idea of the scope!)

Regretfully, I didn't find out about this project in time to blog about it, but I was able to contribute one tiny square. My knitting skills are really basic, but I'm a fairly advanced crocheter and the P. Society was accepting crocheted squares as well as knitted ones, so I e-mailed the person coordinating the project to ask if there was still time to join in and was excited to get my 'assignment' later that day. I was disappointed to learn that the letters were being knitted and that the crocheters were creating the blank squares used to separate words. It was a little like finding out you're going to be a Scrabble letter, dreaming of being a 'Z' or 'Q' then ending up as a blank tile. Oh well, I only had two days in which to complete my task and that included choosing a color. Despite years of crocheting baby blankets, ensuring the square was truly square and exactly 12" did require a little concentration. But, it was mailed with 10 days to make it to London and I was happy with the way it turned out - even if it was just a blank!

The Poetry Society organized sewing sessions where volunteers sewed the squares together - and still the poem was a secret. Then on October 7 it was unveiled at London's British Library - and the poem was revealed. There's no way to find out the location of my square, but I think it's under the 'I' in 'their' in the top left part of the photo below (it's bright green):

I think this was a very clever way to commemorate one hundred years. I'd love to think of my own project that could involve lots of people working together to create something fun. When I was a Junior Girl Scout in the 1970s, our troop participated in a statewide quilt - one troop from each of the 100 counties sewed a square that represented their county. These were used to make a quilt that was displayed in the Governor's Mansion or perhaps the Legislature - the details are a bit fuzzy. I had not thought about that quilt in years, but crocheting my poem square reminded me of it. Okay, so there's a project for me - find out what happened to that quilt! I'll let you know if I locate it . . .

The knitted poem will be displayed in different cities in the UK - check the Poetry Society website for details. And the big question - what was the poem? 'In My Craft or Sullen Art' by Dylan Thomas. I think you'll like it - it's especially nice to read while you're sewing or knitting or thinking about sewing or knitting . . .

In My Craft or Sullen Art by Dylan Thomas

In my craft or sullen art
Exercised in the still night
When only the moon rages
And the lovers lie abed
With all their griefs in their arms,
I labour by singing light
Not for ambition or bread
Or the strut and trade of charms
On the ivory stages
But for the common wages
Of their most secret heart.

Not for the proud man apart
From the raging moon I write
On these spindrift pages
Nor for the towering dead
With their nightingales and psalms
But for the lovers, their arms
Round the griefs of the ages,
Who pay no praise or wages
Nor heed my craft or art.

That's One Crazy Sandwich, Missy!

If you're thinking about making lunches for the upcoming week, don't stick to the same old-same old. Check out these strangely appealing sandwiches. The first was created by an 8 year old as an entry in a contest sponsored by Jif:

The piano is very cute - and you can easily see how to recreate it at home. You'll need a tall lunchbox, however! (Sorry, I don't know who created this . . .)

The next two are courtesy the Insanewiches website, which is a site dedicated to weird sandwiches. If you like these, you'll want to check out the rest of their menu - or perhaps enter your own photo!

Any child will be happy to find this cheery Pooh Bear in his or her lunchbox.

Again, I don't know who created this sandwich, but it's great. It's kind of a passive-aggressive sandwich that says, "yes, I care enough to make your lunch, but I hope it scares you!"

And I saved the best for last - look at this creative Godiva ad. Who knew a few marshmallows, paper clips and a cocktail sword could come together in such a clever way?

Hope your week is full of fun lunches!

Happy Halloween from le Chat Noir

What goes with pumpkins, ghosts, and witches? Black Cats, of course! No Halloween is complete with at least one. In case your house doesn't have one, here are a few of my favorite black cats - just to get you in a spooky mood! And remember, if one crosses your path you must turn around 13 times to avoid bad luck . . .

This black cat is part of a balcony railing at Chinqua-Penn Plantation:

This black cat used to live on our porch - until a neighbor's cat developed a crush on it. It now lives elsewhere (think feline protection program . . .) and is exposed to the elements, hence the kind of mangy look. Its eyes are marble and when backlit it can be a bit frightening!

Finally, the famous French Cat: Le Chat Noir. I don't know what's scarier - the yellow eyes or the ruffled fur . . . either way I would not recommend getting too close.

Hope your Halloween is the perfect blend of scary, cute, and candy!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Yes, today is our wedding anniversary and when I ended my blog post yesterday I said we'd be in Scotland today . . . what I meant was we'd be there in spirit, not (sadly) in person. Sorry for the confusion, but thanks to all of you who sent Bon-Voyage wishes!

But, the reason for the Scottish connection today is that we were married in Scotland and can heartily recommend it. Here are a few things that made our special day special:

This quaich which was used for our wedding toast.

Our piper Iain who not only provided stirring music, but was a charming Master of Ceremonies.

Borthwick Castle - the perfect location for us. It was not snowy when were were there, but I love this picture . . .

And finally these sweet flowers. They're made of sugar and were part of our cake decoration - the colors have faded a bit and a few of the leaves have fallen, but overall they are in remarkable condition considering their age. I suppose one could make a comparison to us after nine years of marriage, but I think not . . .

Garden Ideas . . .

Are you already thinking about what you'll plant in your garden next year? Or, maybe you're bogged down trying to find a non-hoochy Halloween costume for your child or yourself? Either way, I hope you'll enjoy a few more pics from Reynolda Gardens. These are things I'm going to keep in mind when I choose plants next spring . . .

Thanks for stopping by . . . tomorrow we're off to Scotland!

Things for People Who Don't Like Things

A sad little tale of being 'Foiled Again' . . .

About a year ago I purchased a small roll of recycled aluminum foil at the grocery store. It was one of those special items at the end of the aisle that was a special price for shoppers with a store card (this particular store's card has the same name as my middle name - which always seems like a bit of a cheery inside joke . . . but that's beside the point). The point is, this foil was decidedly inferior - thin and papery and not really up to the task of wrapping corn or potatoes for grilling. We used it for less strenuous tasks (in other words, tasks that didn't really require foil) and I was happy to see the end of the roll.

What is the probability that I would purchase another roll of recycled foil? Twenty to one? Less? Well, the chance that I would buy that same brand from the same grocery store is slim to none. However, when I saw a different brand that was labeled 'heavy duty' at one of my favorite kitchenware/gourmet grocery stores I reconsidered. It was an extra-long roll and was in a big display beside the line that leads to the checkout area - and (here's what really suckered me in) it was at a greatly reduced price. Cooler heads would have realized that the greatly reduced price was a clue, like a little friend whispering in your ear, "this item isn't worth full price, no one is buying it at full price," etc. But, when the shopper in front of me put three boxes in her basket I was caught up in the frenzy of the moment - looking back I wonder if she was a plant . . .

After all, recycling aluminum foil is a good idea and, like recycling itself, not a new one either. Didn't your grandmother have a drawer of recycled aluminum foil - carefully washed, flattened out, and folded? Perhaps stored with the bits of string and paper bags? So the idea of recycled foil is a good one, but the two products I've tried are lousy. This new, improved foil is still papery and tears if you aren't careful when you fold it. It doesn't, however, tear at all when you're trying to get it out of the box - hence the frustration that led me to throw the box in the photo on the floor (I should state here that I am not normally a person who throw things in anger . . . well, throwing things at the deer when they're eating my hydrangea doesn't count!). And as for the box, it's flimsy so that when you grip it in your struggle to tear off a piece of foil, it collapses in your hand. So, I cannot recommend recycled foil to people who like foil or who like the environment - it can't be good to waste half a roll due to tears and flimsiness.

Last week I noticed that Reynolds Wrap now makes recycled foil . . . I wonder if the third time's the charm?

Who Has the Cutest Hat in the Garden Today?

In our garden this fall, we're going back to basics with head coverings in natural, subdued colors: Honey Yellow, Iron, Creme Brulee, Rust, Sand, and Coffee. These mushroom clusters that sprang up overnight are bucking the puffy, rounded trend with these flat, taupe caps. I detect a slight Asian influence.

On the other side of the yard, these Sawtooth Oak Acorns have opted for frilly caps rather than the boring smooth traditional ones worn by the hundreds of other acorns in the garden. While these definitely have more panache, they don't seem to fit as well as the older style. Will this trend catch on? Only time will tell . . . but, if UGG boots can become popular anything is possible.

If you'd like to see what colors are in for people this year, consult the Pantone Color Report. Yes, the people who know what color exactly matches your company's logo have now moved into the world of fashion and design. As for me, I'm eagerly awaiting April to see what fashions are on for Spring!

Who's First in the Poets' Corner? Hint: It's Not the Wife of Bath!

While there may be other Poets' Corners, I'm referring to the one in Westminster Abbey - the final resting place of many of England's writers, poets, and playwrights. And who was the first person buried there? Geoffrey Chaucer - whose body had been originally buried elsewhere in the Abbey. Today is the anniversary of his death - October 25, 1400. Generally acknowledged as the Father of English Literature (or poetry), his most famous work 'The Canterbury Tales' continues to delight. Ask any alumae of my alma mater about The Tales and you will get a recitation of the prologue - at least the first few lines. For more than a century, all freshmen have learned those lines and for some inexplicable reason they stick with you long after you've forgotten the bawdy Miller and the oft-wed Wife of Bath. The middle English pronunciation may be a bit Southern, but the idea is still there: sweet April showers pierce the March drought to the root, or root-uh, as we say . . .

If you've never been forced to read Chaucer, you've probably not read Chaucer. After all, most of us do not reach for an 850 line Medieval poem when we want some light reading. However, you can find a modern translation and you'll see that The Canterbury Tales has something for everyone. It's about a group of pilgrims who set out to visit the shrine of St. Thomas Becket in Canterbury and along the way they have a contest to see who can tell the best tale. The narrator's descriptions and pilgrims' tales are like a modern soap opera - murder, sex, intrigue, revenge, forgiveness, comic relief. And here's the brilliant part - more than 600 years later, you'll recognize the characters and situations. People don't change . . . and I think that's why we still like to read Chaucer.

So, here's to Geoffrey Chaucer on the anniversary of his death! I'm off to cook a meal that would please the Summoner - full of garlic and onions . . . hmmm, what would Chaucer say about that?

Tom Swift Discovers Radium - What?!

Do you know Tom Swift? How about Tom Swiftie? Tom Swift is a fictional character created by Edward L. Stratemeyer in 1910. If you were ever a fan of Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, or the Bobbsey Twins, you've read Stratemeyer's work - he was a very industrious writer and publisher who had the clever idea to create series of books for boys and girls. And not just any books - books where kids were the heroes and had exciting adventures - a really novel idea at the time (sorry for the pun, but it's leading us to our main topic!). He outlined the plots and ghost writers did most of the actual writing. Tom Swift was the hero of over 100 books spanning nine decades. I confess I haven't read any of Tom's adventures, but my brother had some of the books in the series, although I think his favorite Stratemeyer characters were the Hardy Boys. I, too liked the Hardy Boys for a few years when Shaun Cassidy played the younger brother in the television series . . . but, that's another story.





But the Tom Swift books contained more than adventure - they were noted for a style of adverbial puns that have come to be known as Tom Swifties. The Tom Swift writers replaced the word 'said' in dialog with adverbs that related to the statement. As in "I hate milking cows," Tom uttered. Or the writers added the modifier after the word 'said', as in "I shall not leave you a penny when I die," said Tom willfully. As someone who really likes a good pun, I am a fan of Tom Swifties. While Tom is the standard speaker, sometimes another person is substituted to complete the joke. One of the best-known Tom Swifties falls into this group:


"Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously.


So, here are a few Tom Swifties - warning, one is a bit risque, but too funny to omit:

• "Look out! A golf ball!" Tom forewarned.


• "I can't believe my car was towed!" Tom expounded.


• “I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.


• "My grape juice has fermented," Tom whined.


• "I'm impotent," Tom said softly.


• "I dropped my toothpaste," Tom said crestfallen.


• “Hallelujah,” Tom said handily.


• “I’ve struck oil!” said Tom crudely.


• “May I introduce the family Stone?” Tom asked slyly.


• “This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.


• "I was caught stealing in Iran", said Tom offhandedly.


• "Y'all I'm leavin'", said Dolly, partin'.


• "It's 9:59", said Tom pretentiously.
  
• "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", said Clark Gable rhetorically.

"If you liked these Tom Swifties, try writing some of your own," said Leah authoritatively. (Must stop myself from more sentences like that - so, good-bye!)