First, Do No Harm

First, Do No Harm - this sums up Garden Etiquette, don't you think? When you visit a garden, whether public or private, you simply need to observe common courtesies and common sense. So here's my quick list of Etiquette Guidelines for garden tours, public gardens, and the garden down the street.

• In public gardens, follow the rules. These may include walking on paths rather than grass, no sports (this is a garden, after all, and not a park - and just imagine what a soccer ball in the irises will do!), no littering (obviously!), no fishing/feeding wildlife (again, not a park), and no food. Each public garden has its own rules so check at the visitor center or watch for posted signs.
  
  

• Do NOT walk in the flower beds - this applies to any garden. This applies to children and pets, too! Gardeners work hard for that loamy, perfect soil and don't want it trampled and compacted.
  
  
• Do NOT pick flowers or take cuttings unless invited. This seems to be a common complaint during garden tours. A friend found a visitor to her garden scooping up a plant with a plastic spork during a garden tour a few years back . . . can you imagine? The Spork Lady even had a pocketful of sandwich bags to transport her booty . . .
  
  
• Watch your children, just as you would if visiting someone's home - they shouldn't pick or tear or eat (and I add that from personal experience with a pansy-loving 3-year old) flowers/foliage, throw mulch (a favorite activity of some toddlers we know) or walk through the beds. Many public gardens have areas just for children with flowers they can touch and smell . . . check it out! My advice to garden tour hosts - have an area for children - maybe a small container of water with floating toys or bottles of bubbles in a grassy area where they can play, or some cut flowers that they can smell and touch. After all, you could be cultivating a new generation of gardeners!
  
  
• And for garden tour hosts - don't be offended by visitors who make negative comments or who are not interested in your prized roses. It's not personal. Also, if you're participating in a large tour anticipate the problems - for instance, someone will probably ask to use your restroom or peek inside your house. A former co-worker who's an old pro at this tells visitors that their insurance doesn't allow tour visitors inside the house . . . it probably doesn't fool the guests, but it does work. Also, if the weather is warm (as it often is during garden tour season), a nice touch is to have water or lemonade for guests . . . your thoughtfulness may inspire the Spork Lady to sheath her spork!
  
  

I hope you enjoy the spring gardening season. I'd love to hear your thoughts about Garden Etiquette . . . or your war stories!

Gardens pictured: Biltmore and Sarah P. Duke

Etiquette: It Started In the Garden

No, I don't mean the Garden of Eden. Although perhaps there are some etiquette issues there with the apple and the serpent and . . . well, you can draw your own conclusions. I'm talking about the concept of etiquette and the origin of the word itself.

And of course, no one can pinpoint the moment when informal etiquette arose - perhaps when a caveman offered his cave-mate the choicest morsel of woolly mammoth, thus setting an example followed to this day. What we do know is that formal etiquette originated in the French royal court in the 16th and 17th centuries. (Another day we'll talk about the year 1669 - when dining knives lost their points!)

But, back to France and specifically to the Palace of Versailles. Louis XIV’s gardener posted signs, or tickets (etiquettes), telling people to keep off the newly seeded lawns; the courtiers ignored these signs until the King issued an edict commanding everyone to “keep within the etiquettes” and the modern term was born.

Today most public gardens have similar signs, although the penalties for breaking the rules is less severe.

So, have a seat on this cozy bench and think about garden etiquette and I'll join you tomorrow to continue this chat.

Etiquette for a Parallel (Parking) Universe

If I say 'Driving Etiquette', what's the first thing that pops into your head? Speeders? Tailgaters? Mobile phone junkies? People who park in the fire lane at the grocery store? Drivers who park over the line in a crowded parking lot? People who empty their ashtrays at intersections?

Or, perhaps you don't have a complaint about other drivers, but a question about your own driving - 4-way stop etiquette, gas pump etiquette (I recommend moving to New Jersey where it's illegal to pump your own gas - what a great state!), or the etiquette when merging in a construction zone . . . the list is endless. But, today I want to address one simple aspect of driving: Parallel Parking.



The rule is this: If you don't know how to parallel park, don't do it!


It's that simple. Don't block traffic while you back in and out and in and out trying to get your car close enough to the curb (100-point turns are only amusing if the driver is Austin Powers). I learned to parallel park in Driver's Ed - perhaps they only teach that in small towns where students have the opportunity to practice in a real setting . . . ? Because many of the drivers who try to park in this town fail miserably - so why don't they use the off-street parking instead? It's free and usually available in the same block!

If you want to parallel park, but don't quite have the courage to try - here are the steps (as learned from Mr. Hunter in 1978):

1. Pull your car parallel to the car in front of the space in which you wish to park. Your car must be at least as far forward as the parked car (this is where most people go astray).
2. Reverse slowly. When the middle of your car is beside the rear bumper of the car beside you, begin to turn - think of your back right tire going towards the curb in the center of the parking space.
3. As you continue to reverse, straighten out the turn and your car should be parallel to the curb by the time you're fully in the parking space. (Don't straighten out too early, then you'll be too far from the curb!)
4. Pull forward to center your car in the space.

That's it - it's really quite easy and fun. With a bit of practice (not during a busy time on a busy street!), you'll be able to park with just these two movements every time. And, as I learned in Drivers' Ed all those years ago (feel free not to do the math!), if you don't get it right in the first two movements, you will probably not be able to correctly park by small back and forth movements! At best your vehicle will be parallel, but quite far from the curb.


And, once you've mastered that you can move on to parking on the reverse side of the street - that does take a bit of practice!

And since we can all use a refresher from time to time - check out this snippet of a clever song I heard recently on Car Talk: Driving Lesson by Don Burnham. You'll probably want to buy the CD or song; I'm putting it on my Christmas list right now! (Who doesn't need a reminder to "keep those round black things down; keep that shiny side up!)

Happy Motoring!